The Indian Cricket Team

What has happened to the Indian Cricket Team? After being the top team in Tests and ODIs, it is taking lessons in base jumping and trying to reach the bottom of the heap.

After the World Cup win (how sweet was that??!!) I wanted to write something about it, maybe after enjoying the sweet taste of victory, but the immediate onset of IPL turned me off.

But the 4-0 drubbing that we received against England, really turned the screws for me. So here is my take at what went wrong with the Indian cricket team.

In one sentence, “The Indian Cricket team is a victim of black magic”

Have you noticed how all the players were getting injured? I can clearly envision small little GI Joe style action figures of the Indian Cricket team on a wooden table in a darkly lit room with layers of dense smoke.

A scrawny hand picking up Zaheer Khan’s figure first on the first day of the first test match and piercing his leg near wherever the hamstring is.

Off goes Zaheer Khan

Snapping Gambhir’s hand which made the ball hit him on the elbow in the silly mid-wicket position.

That did put him down for one test, but he came back. So he got more, this time on his head to put him out of contention for the entire series including the T20 and the ODIs.

Yuvraj and Harbhajan also got some sting from the man cloaked in the black.

Sachin fell sick at Lord’s. Couldn’t have been any other reason apart from the magician poking his stomach.

They also had some black magic on the Captain MS Dhoni, did you notice how he was dropping all those balls behind the stumps. The most obvious indication of the Black Magic on Dhoni was his insistence to get in R P Singh (Fatso) for the last test. Geoff Boycott’s mum could have picked a better team than that!!!

There were also some other action figures on that table, those were that of the Indian Cricket team management. They let Sehwag play with a partially healed shoulder and off goes Sehwag.

This has become a serious problem for the Indian team. The only person not affected by the black magic was Rahul Dravid. Can you take a guess why he was not affected?? Obviously, because he is THE WALL!!! And inanimate objects seldom fall for black magic… at least from what I know.

Please do lookout for these signs of black magic in the ODI series. I do not know who is responsible for the black magic but I will conduct my investigations during the ODI series and come back to report on it.

I might have missed a few more players here, do point out who all were affected by the magic.

Disclaimer: This article is of course part of the non-sense motto of my blog. England was the better team and Indians were stuck in practice mode in all the four matches.